Our country is clearly very divided! Throughout this election, I have wondered on numerous occasions, “how do we heal from this country’s divide?” Since election day, it has been even more front and center.
While I knew there was a divide. I did not realize just how divided and it has kept me up at night.
I just want us to come back together. Not in a fake, nicey-nicey sort of way. Rather as humans, knowing no one person (or no one group) is all bad or all good. We are all humans, who represent one country.
This blog by Madisyn Taylor talks about Blaming Others. For me, the blame is the root of why we are so divided, so I feel it is only appropriate that I share.
As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. Is we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don't truly feel responsibly for. We may blame our parents for our pow self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner's bad behavior.
Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.
We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.
Since the election I have heard news pundits talk about the “other side” and I only wonder if they would turn that inward, what part of what they are saying about others is true for them. Everyone needs to take responsibility for themselves and their behavior. STOP with the name-calling and assigning beliefs to others that you have drummed up for them.
While our country is clearly very divided, I don’t believe the repair has to be hard. I genuinely hope in just a few short years we can look at this as a blip on the radar. I hope we can see our family, friends, and neighbors for who they really are, not some false narrative that you know deep down is not true. Remember the first step: Look inside at yourself.