Fear looks different for everyone. For me personally, it looks like bailing.
I have really come to know myself the last couple of years, and in doing so, have noticed that I bail when things get tough. Before I can disappoint, I bail, out of fear I will disappoint. I bail so I don’t have to feel the discomfort. I have watched this happen repeatedly.
Not long ago, I was working with my business coach when I recognized this pattern starting to resurface. Because I wasn’t seeing the consistent results that I believed I should be seeing, I began going into shutdown mode. Then, when my coach called me on it, said I was playing small, that my perfectionism was preventing me from shining. I felt the twinge, the desire to run. I felt defensive and angry.
Is Fear Driving You
In retrospect, it’s because I am a pleaser. I am motivated by the sense that I am doing what others want of me. This has always been the case, whether in school, my family, or my career.
If I feel even the slightest belief that I am not meeting standards, I get the F*#%-it’s. I don’t want to disappoint, to feel less than, to believe I’m a failure.
But the important part to note is that I don’t even wait to find out if it is true. Instead, I look for the slightest inkling it might be true, then I take it and run. In the end, this all stems from fear. I fear people won’t like me, so before they can beat me to it, I tap out.
Most recently, this came from the fact that I had a 5-figure month and have not quite reached that again, so I automatically deemed myself a failure. Rather than celebrating reaching that milestone less than one year into business, I was focusing on the fact that I hadn’t been able to do it again.
See how our minds mess with us, sabotage us? Fear looks different for everyone. I want you to think about how fear presents itself to you. How are you playing small out of fear? Do you recognize how fear prevails in your life? Do you need a mentor/coach to help you reframe how ridiculous your thoughts can be?